Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize