I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
