So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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