We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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