Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize