ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
