I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
