Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
