Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize