I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
