she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
