need another drink. this is the easiest way
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Randomize
