obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
