Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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