shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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