Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
