oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
