I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
