Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
