eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
