I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
