Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
