I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I looked at my own cervix.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
