theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize