Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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