Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
