You can't special order awesome
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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