My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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