pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
