go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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