Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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