Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
