I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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