it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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