i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
