it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
