Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
