hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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