...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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