It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize