Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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