I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
