Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sorry my hands just texted you
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
