Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
