Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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