I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
