it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
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