Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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