its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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