So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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