To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
