She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
