i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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