I hate all girls vehemently.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
