Kareoke will never be a sober sport
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
