id be glad to
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
