whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
