so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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