was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
