he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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