you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
