I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I accidentally had phone sex last night
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize