we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
