i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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