im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
