I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
