At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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