I can text with my tongue
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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