So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
