ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
