i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
