He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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