Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
