Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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