if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
