We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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