Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
