Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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