He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
