i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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