i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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